Coming Back Around

Well, it's been a while! 

A lot has happened since that beginning post. My sister passed away from breast cancer in 2015, and my father passed away (COPD) in 2016. So, with Mom gone, that leaves two brothers from my childhood family with whom I'm not in a great deal of contact. I feel the emptiness of their loss especially whenever a child reaches a milestone I wish I could share with them. 

I had what I'd call a typical childhood; some hard times, some sad times, but mostly really pleasant memories. I took it all for granted while living it, of course. In hindsight, I can see how blessed I really was. And am! Now I'm trying hard to recreate the blessedness of that childhood for my own children, while making new memories with my own family. I think, with God's help, we are managing to do this fairly well.

One of the things I've realized as God has brought me deeper and deeper into His will, is that life lived to the fullest cannot happen if we live in fear. So many of our hang-ups come from fear of the future, fear of loss. So much of Christ's teaching in scripture revolves around letting go of our fears, and trusting that His will for our lives is not to harm us, but to bring us hope and a future. Even if His will goes against what our limited human reasoning proclaims is a "good life".

So, in that vein, and because we believe we have heard God clearly on this matter, my husband and I are going to remain open to life, to the possibility of more children. Even though I have passed my "quota" of two and a half kids (I have five), and even though I'm 44 years old. The fears of loss are still there, in the background. Especially as I went through a rather trauma-filled miscarriage at 16 weeks shortly after my father died. But overshadowing those fears is a deep hope in God's goodness and providence, no matter what this life seems to bring. I know, deep in my soul, that this is the most fruitful thing I could offer myself up to in this life. And this is what I am doing... offering myself up in His will.

This is my body, broken for Him.   

The Rope and the Pit

Okay, I’ve had an epiphany that I think might be blog-worthy…

You know how you can really admire someone because they fit an ideal in your head, and then suddenly you find out they have this problem they are struggling with, and instead of trying to help them you are all like, “What?? You can’t have that problem! Don’t be silly.” Well, I know why this happens now: we have been badly conditioned by individualism. We have been taught to admire people who seem to have it all together through their own talents and efforts.

C.S. Lewis was a major Christian writer who helped millions in their walk with Christ through his brilliant apologetics. But, could he help himself with these same apologetics when faced with his wife’s death? As evidenced in his book, A Grief Observed, the answer is no. And, he was not meant to. God intends for all of His children to minister to each other’s hurts and fears. It is only an autonomous, individualistic (and non-Christian) outlook on life that promotes “self-help”. The truth is that all of our success, whether physical, mental, or spiritual, comes through the help and hard work of many people in the life of any given individual. Thanks to the lie of autonomy we all too often remain unaware of and ungrateful towards the efforts that others are pouring into our success. We are like the proverbial pigs under an acorn tree.  

God gives us ropes of inspiration through the Spirit. We think these ropes are for us to use as lifelines for ourselves; we wrap them around ourselves in an attempt to shore up our insecurities. However, in doing so, we neglect their true purpose, which is to be used by us to help others. We are meant to live in communion, with God and with our fellow Christians. To help us do that, God has given us blessings of wisdom and talent which are dead ends if used for ourselves but very fruitful when given freely for others.

As we walk with Christ in scripture and prayer we are given this spiritual rope, but it is only so long. When we fall into a pit (it happens to all of us, no matter how mature), we cannot use our own rope to get out of it. We need someone else to lower their rope down to help us climb out. And when we see others wallowing in their own dark pits of fear and doubt, we are called to lower the ropes we have been given down to them. This is how God designed us; we do not live unto ourselves. We live for others. One man’s weakness is another man’s opportunity to bless and become who God has called them to be.

So when you see someone who you thought was mature (or who ought to be more mature) having a momentary lapse of faith, do not berate them. It is not the time for them to be helping anyone, including themselves. It is a moment for you to bear fruit with a gift God has given you… lower your rope. Do so with love and understanding, because someday soon it will be you again in that pit!        

It's Got to Start Somewhere

Ten o'clock at night is a good time to write, right?

Well... if not, too bad. I've got this thing up and running in a new format, and now it is begging for a post. Sort of like a recently cleaned closet begs for a new outfit.

Except, I don't have much to say. I mean, I do, but is it really worth saying? So many good blogs out there... who am I to add anything to all that wisdom, humor, insight? I am a nobody.

But, seeing as God loves to use nobodies for His grand purposes, I'll make myself available to Him. That is all I can really do.

So, even though this first post doesn't say much, I've taken that first and most important step; I've put myself into His hands *just in case* He wants to use me.

Here we go!  Hopefully the next post will say something more meaningful than that.